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Wish I was Australian :(
Tags:
Current Location:
stupid italy
Current Mood:
woesome
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Most uncomfortable. Woe.

Went to beach with B. and K. Sand everywhere. Can't swim so sat and watched. They were wet. It was totally hot.

Caught Keats looking at my Georgie. Overcome with rage. No forks to hand, so punched him in the face. Totally wasn't just an excuse to touch him. Pretended not to hear comments about own behind.

Abodiginie accent totally turns me on. Might ask B. to practice one.

Tags:

Current Location:
italian beach
Current Mood:
frustrated frustrated
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Went swimming with Abodiginny. He wouldn't swim. What's the fucking point? Twat. Tried to drown him. Failed, but soundly beat the fucker. Not an entirely wasted afternoon. Also got to see Percy throw a punch, which was the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen. Still laughing.

Haha. Hahahaha. Ha. Hahaha.

Tags:

Current Location:
italian beach
Current Mood:
highly entertained
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Byron agreed to go out for a surf to ride some waves and settle our differences. Don't think he quite gets it, though. Kept diving off the board and I was like: "Byron, that's not how you surf. You're supposed to stand on the board." He just called me a twat, and said if I didn't want to get wet, why did I come out? Then he beat me up. But I let him win 'cause he's got a club foot and a bodacious arse. Shelley caught me looking and punched me too, and I was like shit... 'cause he's so non-violent. But I said he had a nice arse too, and he went all red and left me alone. Funny, that.
Tags:
Current Location:
beach
Current Mood:
mildly confused
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Dear Turdsworth,

Herein is one of those new-fangled "new wave romantic" RAP jobbies. From yours truly, esq.

(One moment while I find my burberry shirt and shiny white spats.)

*insert beatbox sound here* <-- Percy does it well.

I don't eat beets
(I don't eat meat)
I'll use your face to wipe my feet

Stamping on your flowers
Stamping all over your flowers

Give me an ASBO
Give me an ASBO
Give me an ASBO

YEAH

Love and kisses,

George.

Tags:

Current Location:
turdsworth's crushed daffodil lawn
Current Mood:
victorious and delinquent
Current Music:
my own melodious RAP
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Fucking hate gnomes.

Lambface, what's all this about you killing my baby?

HATE!

Tags:

Current Mood:
HATE
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Thighs are catching. I know it. They are. Aren't they? You can catch thigh, yes? I think I caught thigh. I mean, I think I caught fat thigh. Is that a disease? If it is, then I think I caught it.

Am going to turn into elephant.

Will simply have to kill self now.

Tags:

Current Location:
eleplantine italy
Current Mood:
paranoid
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SUCCESS!
Tags:
Current Location:
garden
Current Mood:
gnomic
Current Music:
gnome song
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Epic week. Trawled round some church monkery abbey or other and wrote a couple of million lines which look like they're about it but are actually just about ME. Because I'm THAT DAMN GOOD. Yeah.
Current Location:
tintern
Current Mood:
godly
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Oh! Oh! Look!



Who wants to come and play?

Tags:

Current Mood:
boat!
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